<TITLE>13. Par 119-126</TITLE>L-119 I come back, and the first thing was placed in my hands was a "Voice Of Healing," and I seen this A. A. Allen's meeting and seen how unscriptural that is. Then I criticize it. You see? "Oh, my," I think. But look at the poor people, lovely people, is out there following that (See?), going with him, and honest-hearted people.
I look around and see these other things that goes on and in that I--I start criticizing in my heart. See? And I don't want to get that way. If I do that, I will lose favor with God. See? And the only thing...
And I look at the Americans and see the way, look at women, how they dress; and look at men, how they act; and how they drink, and cuss, and smoke, and chew, and claim to be Christians, till it just nauseates me. When I see what the other side is, and see this, then look between, think, "O God." But hear this, whose battle is it? God said, "Let the weeds and the wheat grow together. The angels would come and separate them at the end of time." It's not me.

L-122 So you help me, as I stand here with my hand up at the pulpit, help me to criticize nobody. And help me that God will give me a spirit in my heart, that instead of criticizing it, I will love them anyhow, and go on.
It's just been a constant grind, and a grind, and a grind. Till I'm just human. My mental powers are breaking like that. You see? And I've got to get away for some rest.
And that's what I'm going away for I to stay by myself to pray that God will take that critical feeling away from me, and mellow me down, till... I could go and act like it, but that wouldn't come from my heart. And I'd be a hypocrite then, sure enough. See? I want it to come from my heart, that I really have love for those who are not lovely. That Jesus did. When I was critical, when I needed to be criticized, and still, He still loves me anyhow. So that's the way I want to be. You pray for me.
Hope to see you again, long about November, maybe come back and hold a revival here at the tabernacle before we...

L-126 So, now, here's one thing I've done, asked this, one more thing. I have--don't want to have ministering to the sick, no more than just by handkerchiefs or so forth. I'm trying to get away from that vision. You see? And especially as weak as I am now, and go to stand before people, well, then you start that--that vision comes back. I want to get away and get myself quietened down to where I can come forth and have a different meeting. You'll pray for me, won't you? And now, and I'm--I'm praying, in--in the mail, and sending handkerchiefs and things to the sick and afflicted--afflicted.
But when people call me for prayer, I'm referring them to Brother Neville, or some of the rest of them, to go pray. 'Cause, when I stand before the person, that shakes me right back to it again. You see? And I want to get away from it, so I can lay down, say, "Now, Lord, just at Your will. Whenever You want me know anything, You let me know. And I will keep it a secret to myself, 'less You tell me to tell it." See what I mean? And then go out there and pray for the sick, and change my ministry altogether. I can have longer meetings, better meetings, and everything else than I--than I could before.
The Lord bless you now, while we bow our head.


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